


On Margate Pier

by ThamesNymph



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:48:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26183704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThamesNymph/pseuds/ThamesNymph
Summary: Right after Series 5. Tommy pays a visit to Alfie in Margate. Alfie waxes philosophical, then tells him to fuck off.
Kudos: 1





	On Margate Pier

**Author's Note:**

> I sometimes wish Peaky Blinders was just Tommy and Alfie talking because they're definitely the best-written characters and I think no one gets Tommy quite like Alfie does. So I gave them another conversation to have.

‘So, are you going to apologise for, you know, shooting me in the fucking face?’

‘No.’

‘Thought not. Not big on apologies, are you?’

‘No.’

‘Not big on talking either, eh? Still, if you repent, it’s between you and whatever god you believe in, ‘cause I’ve forgiven you.’

‘But see, I don’t repent. You fucking deserved it, Alfie. You fucking deserved it.’

‘Yeah, well, I forgive you anyway. Can’t afford to hold grudges at a time like this.’

‘A time like what, Alfie?’

‘A time after you’re dead. But you know all about that, don’t you? “In the bleak midwinter”, isn’t that what you say?’

‘Now how the fuck would you know about that, eh?’

‘Oh, I know a lot of things, Tommy. Now, I had this dream – ‘

‘Didn’t come here to hear about your dreams, Alfie.’

‘Then what did you come here for, eh? Eh? Well, if you’re not going to tell me, this conversation is going to become a trifle one-sided, Tommy. This American bloke once said to me, “conversation’s a two-way street” and I told him, “we don’t have no room for two-way streets in Camden” and then I shot him, right? But we’re not in Camden now, so we’ve got room for a proper fucking conversation. So come on, Tommy, tell me something. Tell me what you dream, then.’

‘Who says I dream anything?’

‘I can see it in your eyes. They see things even when they’re closed.’

‘Yeah, well, there’s dreams, and then there’s dreams you have when you’re awake.’

‘Well, those, Tommy, are called hallucinations, and you really should see a doctor about them.’

‘They aren’t hallucinations, Alfie. I see my wife, I see her everywhere, in the forest, floating on a barge, in the back of my car. She’s telling me it’s so easy, to just pull the trigger, to just jump off the bridge.’ 

‘Now, is this the new wife you see, or the old one?’

‘The old one.’

‘The one’s who’s dead, yeah?’

‘Yeah. The one who’s dead.’

‘Alright, mate, it’s a bad sign seeing your dead wife hanging about telling you to top yourself. But what do you want me to do, have a word with her about it? Can’t bloody see her, can I?’

‘I need your help, Alfie.’

‘What? Again? I helped you with the Mosley thing and look how that turned out. Right fucking balls-up, wasn’t it? Why should I help you, Tommy? Eh? … Alright, tell us your plan.’

‘I haven’t got a plan, Alfie.’

‘Thomas Shelby hasn’t got a plan? What’s next, eh? The sun rising in the fucking west? How am I supposed to help you if you haven’t got a plan?’

‘I don’t know. I don’t bloody know, Alfie. Half my family aren’t talking to me, my wife isn’t talking to me – ‘

‘Wait, this is the new wife, the one that isn’t talking to you, right? Because sounds like the old one’s talking your ear off.’

‘Yeah, the new wife isn’t talking to me.’

‘Alright, good, just wanted to make sure that your dead wife isn’t ignoring you these days, still dropping in for a good old chin-wag. Right, well, go on.’

‘My cousin Michael, he’s trying to take over the business, trying to steal my fucking crown.’

‘Your crown, eh? Well, that’s hard luck, your majesty. Why don’t you go talk to your friend Mosley about it? Bet he’d give you some advice about what to do with people who are in your way. Why don’t you go talk to him after you’ve both been making your grand speeches in Parliament or spent a nice afternoon shouting about killing Jews at some rally you’ve organised. Why don’t you do that, eh?’

‘You know I’m not – ‘

‘Not what? Not on Mosley’s side? You think you’re so different from Mosley, well, from where I’m standing, mate, you’ve become exactly like him. Helping with all his nasty little projects, throwing your money around, getting others to do your dirty work for you, all you’ve got to do is grow a little moustache and you two could be fucking twins – ‘

‘Shut up, Alfie, or I’ll start doing my own dirty work and blow your head off properly this time.’

‘What? Right here, in the middle of Margate Pier? Please, Tommy, there are upstanding fucking citizens about.’

‘That man… it makes me sick being near him. I thought I could destroy him, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t. And now I have to stay in his party, I have to help him. No one trusts me, not the people in the government, or in Special Branch, or in my own fucking family. I’ve lost everything because of that man.’

‘And so you… what? You come to me? You come to the man you shot in the face for sympathy?’

‘I came because you know. You know I planned to kill him, you know the whole plan. It’s just that it went wrong, and I don’t know how. I just don’t fucking know, Alfie.’

‘Yeah, well, I see you took what I said last time about being a god seriously, Tommy, and I appreciate that, but I’m not omniscient, not yet, anyway. I can’t tell you who betrayed you, mate.’

‘I was going to fix it all, Alfie, I was going to make it better for my family, for everyone.’

‘Fix it all? Fix all the people you’ve shot and cut and whose heads you’ve done in? All those families you’ve destroyed and the lives you’ve ruined? You think you can fix that? I don’t care what pretty lies you tell yourself about how you’re the selfless fucking hero here, but don’t fucking come to me with all that bullshit, yeah? Because that’s what it is, isn’t it, just fucking bullshit. Maybe once, about ten years ago, you started doing it all for your family, but it’s been years since you’ve done anything for anyone except Thomas Shelby. And you don’t even fucking enjoy it, do you? You just can’t live without it, all the lying, the intricate fucking plans, the power, the blood, the killing. You don’t know how to live without all that, do you? You have to go on, and on, and on, because that’s the only way you know how to exist.’

‘So what can I do, Alfie? Settle down in Margate, like you? Shoot at the gulls?’

‘No, no, first of all, Tommy, Margate is a small town, it’s not going to hold the two of us. Having you so close might make me remember all those bad, bad things that I used to do. And you don’t want me to remember them, because if I remember them, I’m going to want to do them again. And second, Tommy, I myself have the great wisdom of the Jewish people, which is what has allowed me to find peace. You, not being of the Chosen People, will never understand this great wisdom and will therefore never be content.’

‘Well, since I don’t happen to be Jewish, I’d better just put a bullet in my head, then, eh?’

‘Nah, you won’t. You’ll come up with a new plan soon. You can’t help it. But don’t come to me for help. As we’ve established, you shot me in the face.’

‘Thought you’d forgiven me, Alfie.’

‘Yeah, I’ve forgiven you, Tom, but that doesn’t mean I am not extremely fucking angry with you about it. I am filled with righteous wrath whenever I look at your face, to be honest. And if you go on sitting here, trying my patience, I might not resist the temptation to smash something blunt and heavy into it, alright?’

‘What about all the upstanding citizens on the pier, Alfie?’

‘They wouldn’t mind some free entertainment this fine afternoon, so if I were you, I’d run along… Well, go on, get the fuck out of here, Tommy… And Tommy?’

‘Yeah?’

‘I never want to see you again.’

‘Me neither, Alfie. Me neither. So long, Alfie.’


End file.
